I live in California, where Prop 8, a controversial measure to define marriage as being between a man and a woman, recently passed. I personally voted against it (which means, I support gay marriage) but I have two friends that voted for Prop 8, because they are Christian and believe marriage is between a man and a woman.

These friends support civil unions and one has a best friend who is a lesbian!

Yet, thanks to donor laws, my Prop 8 supporting friend (with the lesbian friend) has had her name publicly shared online as a donor for Prop 8. Now people are emailing her work, apparently in an attempt to get her fired over this issue.

I find it highly ironic that people who claim to be about securing rights are so dead determined to remove the rights of people who disagree with them.

This harassment has gotten so out of hand that someone has used Google Maps to create a map of people who supported Prop 8 in San Francisco. What's sad is that a lot of people are justifying this invasion of privacy and apparent call to violence by saying that's what these folks "deserve" for taking away other people's rights. (To see what I mean, read some of the comments here referring to this map as a "bigot map.")

When are we going to learn that an eye for an eye is never the right course of action? You may be upset over the anti-gay marriage initiative passing, but does that give you the moral authority to harass people? Get them fired? Encourage people come to their homes and vandalize them or worse, hurt someone?

And does this sort of behavior accomplish anything positive in the long run? No, it does not. If anything, it creates more backlash, in my opinion.

People who say they are about "rights" and human equality need to also be more compassionate in their daily lives and actions. Demonizing the opposition by calling Prop 8 supporters "bigots" might make you feel superior, but it does not change hearts. It does the opposite - it hardens them.

The irony in all this is that I think the most hardened, radical Prop 8 opponents have shown themselves to be no different than the most bigoted Prop 8 supporters. Anyone who believes in harassing others because they disagree on a very personal issue that is tied to deep religious beliefs is in fact a bully.

There are gay rights bullies as well as homophobic bullies. What do these two sides have in common? They are both bullies.

We say we want peace. We want out of Iraq, we want to stop war. Well, look to yourself first. The first way to stop war is to stop the war at home. Stop turning your fellow Americans into caricatures. Stop treating them like terrorists. If you want to change hearts, then first OPEN YOUR HEART and be tolerant. SHOW BY EXAMPLE. If you want people to be tolerant of your homosexuality, then you need to be tolerant of their religious views against homosexuality. Freedom of religion, remember? That's a right too.

I am sorry, but there is no other way.

Otherwise, you ARE the problem, no matter how "right" you are. There's an old saying...would you rather be right, or happy? Well...would you rather be "right" or would you rather actually accomplish something positive?

Stop the hate - on both sides.