I went to an amazing kundalini yoga workshop over the weekend led by a wonderful teacher, Siri-Gian Khalsa. The topic was soulmates. I almost did not go because I did not want to put myself in "search" mode on the issue. I've done a lot of personal work on letting go the idea of finding the "perfect man." I have had soulmates come into my life, but that does not mean you are meant to be in a lifelong traditional marriage with them.

During the class we did an exercise where we were guided to connected to the soul of a partner. The woman I was sitting next to had an amazing, bright, beautiful soul I saw as a blueish white light that was instantly healing the moment I connected with it. It was so beautiful, I cried tears of joy.

What I learned from this experience is that when we seek marriage or romantic partnership, what we are really seeking is a deep soul connection. We want to feel connected. As Siri-Gian was telling us in the class, we can experience soul connection with everyone, not just a romantic partner. Sure, it's lovely to have a man to snuggle with, but physical intimacy is not the same as spiritual connection, and we can experience spiritual connection at any time and in any place, with or without a man to help us.

One of the questions that came up in the class was "where are the spiritual men?" Out of 15 students, only two were men. I believe there are many spiritual men out there seeking, but they are perhaps not as comfortable going to spiritual seminars as women are. (Though, I often tell my male friends who are looking - if you want to meet women, go to yoga class!)

I think the important thing to remember is that you do not have to go on a desperate search to find someone. When the time is right, you will meet them. I have often met the sexiest men when I am not looking or trying - dressed like a slob, even.

Let me also share something. Being thin won't necessarily find you your soulmate. Being thin and having a nice body gets you a lot of men who want to have sex with you, that's all.

I met a beautiful overweight woman at a holiday party over the weekend who had not dated or looked for four years, but found her fiance when he sent her an email on MySpace. You do not need to be thin to find your true love, as long as you are not expecting him to be a superfit supermodel and expect him to "love you the way you are" when you don't love him the way he is.

At any rate, as proof that connection goes beyond romance and that people come into your life for a reason, I was giving a sample coaching session yesterday, when we discovered that we had both been at the very same seminar over the weekend - the one with only 15 people in it! She had found my website independently, scheduled the session last week, we went to the seminar oblivious to the connection, and only found out after the fact! I made a new friend!

Bottom line: If you are searching for "soulmate" as an answer to your disconnection, try connecting with spirit directly. You don't need a man to do that. Work on yourself, enjoy your life, and live with an open heart. TRUST! We're not all meant to experience the fairy tale romance, but we can all experience our own fairy tale life. If the man comes along, great, if not, just think about all the socks you won't have to pick up (except, of course, your own)! :-)