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taking controlI was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD 8 years ago when I finally sought help. I had hit rock bottom and started to dig. I could barely bring myself to get out bed, let alone leave the house. It had been so long since I felt worth anything at all. Despite growing up in a loving family, I actually couldn't remember a happy time in my life. I found a therapist (and I still see weekly) and went through a myriad of prescriptions until we found the "right" combination of medications that helped me function. I still found that I was doing was functioning. A year or so ago I stared at a handful of multicolored pills and decided I had enough. I weaned off the meds and took a snapshot of my life. I changed my eating habits, change other various self-destructive habits, started exercising and I signed myself up to volunteer for various local organizations. Slowly I began to feel "normal". Now, I can hardly believe I am the same person who hid from the world for years. It takes a conscious decision to be well. I look around and see friends who expect that life will hand them happiness. Maybe they see someone who happy and content with their life and have decided that fate simply dealt them a good hand. Maybe there are lucky people like that in the world but I think it's a matter of taking control of your own life and putting yourself in the right direction. I still struggle with symptoms and have bad days. I've learned not to let one "bad day" not destroy the five previously good ones. It's difficult. We've all heard that hard work is rewarded. Every morning I walk my dog while the sun rises... and it's good to know my reward is courtesy of me and not a handful of pills. :-) |
SearchPollFeelosophyI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Recent comments
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Good for you!
I am sorry to hear you went through all of that. I applaud your decision to get off the meds. I believe you are right when you say "it takes a conscious decision to be well."
I believe that our modern lifestyles give us the illusion that everything should be easy when it isn't. Unfortunately, a lot of the people who are out there selling "self-help" also make it appear to be easy. They say "just think positively" and you'll have riches rain down upon your head. When that doesn't happen, we get even more confused and down on ourselves.
One of the books that truly helped me when I was a young woman going through my own depression was "The Road Less Traveled." He started the book off with a phrase that for me just made me feel a sense of relief.
"Life is difficult," he wrote. Now, to some may seem like a downer. For me, it was a liberation. His book is ultimately about spiritual growth. Sometimes, you need to poke into the dark side of your heart in order to grow. These things are left out in a lot of current pop psychology.
Since then I've studied energy healing and now know that when someone gets depressed, it's because old feelings of hurt and sadness are "stuck" in the energy system. Meds don't heal that - they numb that. Working with energy to truly heal is what creates happiness in the long run. And a lot of that can happen simply through a change of attitude.
thinking vs. wishing
I think "positive thinking" fails when it's confused with "wishful thinking." Forcing bad thoughts/feelings out and replacing them with something positive only gets you so far. The majority of the people I know do not understand that thinking and believing are two vastly different things. The latter is much more difficult. I relate it to spellwork. If you're not focused and confident in what you're casting, nothing happens. The same goes for positive thinking. If you tell yourself that everything will work out for the best without believing it all you've done is distract your mind for the few seconds it takes to get the thought out. But your stomach is still in knots and your muscles are tense and the words float out into nothing.
The other half is accepting what actually happens. What we feel would be the best outcome may not be what truly is. We're blinded by what we think is best rather than looking at the bigger picture. I've come to believe that my experiences with depression and all else may have had to happen so I can guide a friend who is now going through the same thing. I would have liked to help her without going through years of pain but things do happen for a reason. It’s hard to help someone if you don’t truly understand the state s/he is in.
I need to do some research on Reiki. (Hmm... was it a coincidence I was introduced to this site?) I don't know much about it and if it will help with dispelling my recurring symptoms, I’m all for the research. My extent of using energy has been standing on the ground barefoot or leaning against a tree and borrowing some from the earth. It's been quite effective. I swear there's a tree in a near by park who stretches out for a hug when she sees me coming. (But it's impractical when it's 30 degrees outside.)
I’ll add “The Road Less Traveled” to my list; it didn’t initially grab my attention in reviews and I’ve not met someone who had read it through.
I’ve found enormous empowerment and comfort from “The Dance of the Dissident Daughter” by Sue Monk Kidd. (Her fiction is fun too.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Night closed my windows and
The sky became a crystal house
The crystal windows glowed
From The Plough of Time, Ferlinghetti
Reiki for depression
I think Reiki can be a wonderful aid in helping lift the spirits. I had depression in college and since anti-depressants give me serious neurological side effects I can't use them. I got over the depression through mostly sheer will power, cognitive therapy (that I did on myself) as well as other mental reprogramming techniques, and then later energy healing.
When I say mental reprogramming, I mean using meditation tapes, affirmations, and filling your head with positive stuff.
These audios were the best I found for this:
http://www.orindaben.com/
(The ones Orin/Sanaya does. You don't have to believe in channeling. They are just terrific for healing purposes.)